It's gonna be a little bit of a rant, here, so be prepared or go do something else, if you're not feeling up to my yammering.
About my so-called art career...I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, or more accurately, swimming up-stream. Art is all I know how to do with any sort of expertise, and even that's a bit dubious. My dilemma is the whole freelance set-up. I'm not a commercial arts person; I draw and paint. I can't figure out how to make that pay off, w/o committing massive amounts of time to creating the quality of work that will make me proud and lead to bigger projects, and still earn a fair wage. Why won't anyone pay more than $100 for quality book covers or ccg cards? I don't get it. I mean, I DO get it: if you can wrangle a great image for peanuts, why not? But it bites me in the ass and kills my spirit.
I think maybe I'm just getting old and jaded and running out of steam. I'm becoming far less patient. This is my one life, yanno? Why can't I make myself happy? Part of it is certainly my husband's attitude. He asserts that art is decorative and subjective, therefore it's not serious. It's not important. It's not worth paying for. He doesn't see why I can't just get some office job for $15/hour tomorrow and earn my keep. (I know he wouldn't put it that way TO MY FACE, but I feel it.) He's not creative in the least, but he IS a very hard worker; he's a mechanical designer--heating, cooling, plumbing, that sort of thing. In fact, here it is, Sunday, and he's at work because we need the money. And I'm practicing my art and writing. Making not a dime.
Guilty conscience, thy name is Cris.
How do you guys make it work? How do you keep creative, whilst cranking out low-paying work subject to someone else's approval and still keep your spirits up? I need some virtual pick-me-upping, gang.
